Would you?

Under the Skin (Jonathan Glazer, 2013)
When: May 2014
Where: Coronet Notting Hill Gate

You'd think nothing of a white transit van driving round the streets at night, on it's way home after a day out delivering goods, transporting furniture, machinery, basically making the world go round.  Perhaps if it were driving erratically you'd be more suspicious, is it full of stolen goods, a drunk driver?  What if it was a young woman asking for directions, slightly flirtatious, would you get in?  If you were married with children you'd probably already be home eating dinner, watching TV, getting ready for bed.  If you had a significant other you'd certainly not want to risk her wrath if she saw you getting dropped off by a young lady driving a van, it really wouldn't look good at all.  How about if you were single, living alone with nothing to do?  Would you accept then?  After all it seems pretty harmless, young girl delivering antiques from a transit van, you couldn't get much safer than that?


She looks a little lost and she's quite attractive, why not?  With an accent like that she must be quite well to do, what should I say?  Not to worry she does most of the talking, where are we headed again?  Would you like to come over to my friend's place?  Ermm...  Sure why not, beats being home alone, freedom or otherwise.  Maybe I'm a good catch after all, perhaps she's after something a little different, maybe she's just saying thanks?  Okay, this is more than thanks, she's a little flirty, I like it but it can't be true, that's for sure.

We're here now, nothing to lose by going inside, it's a pretty dark in here but she's taking her clothes off and beckoning me over.  I know what I need to do now.  Oh no, she's out of reach, I feel like I'm in quick sand.  There she is, so near yet out of reach.  What?  There's someone else down here.  Too late now.  I'm confined to this place.  Nobody will come and find me, nobody knows I'm gone.

If Under the Skin ended with that it would be too simplistic, if you are a young, single and slightly lonely man not used to female attention the odds of you jumping into a transit van with a beautiful woman followed by the promise of sex you'd do exactly what the men in this film did.  You'd not worry about the aftermath, about the man on the motorbike removing all traces of your existence from the planet.

But the film asks us more, what lies under the skin?  When our alien hiding in human skin needs help a lonely man takes her in, reversing the roles, she wants to leave without a trace for fear of him discovering the truth about her, after a night of passion (well not exactly!).  Walking in the woods emotionally unsure after the kindness shown to her in an hour of need our alien is stalked and set upon by a man who tries to rape her.  There is a child like innocence to adulthood from our alien, much like the men she trapped.  There are mixed emotions as whilst nobody truly wishes rape on another, we are not talking about an innocent victim, though our rapist perhaps thinks otherwise until her human skin is damaged and left behind.

The isolated people in an isolated atmosphere become easier to empathise with, the novelty of the nudity has worn off.  The sense of feeling trapped increases and I feel worse inside, I don't know if I feel proud to be a man or even human but then is that really our fault?  Ignore the scenery, the beauty, if she drove past right now would you get in, knowing what you know?  If you were vulnerable would you help someone else or hope they went away?  Could you just wipe their memory away, make them no longer exist and move on?  Do you understand why they don't say no?  Do you understand why you don't say no?  This is no Tarantino death/rebirth of the modern man under threat by a smarter stronger woman, more a simple desire to get under our skin and see what is really underneath.

Fondue!!!

St Moritz Style!
When: March 2013
Where: St Moritz


I don't think there's much in the world that makes me happier than fondue.  Melted cheese, crusty bread, potatoes and/or meat with the possibility of fruit and chocolate to follow.  Despite living in London for many years we had yet to go out anywhere for fondue.  I'm not sure why but perhaps it's due to a lack of choice, the nearest restaurant to us seems like somewhere to do traditional German drinking, dancing and merriment and for me all I want is the cheese, the rest I can more than do without.  Finally we found the St Moritz restaurant in the West End, from the website they look a little old fashioned, they even suggest booking via fax rather than e-mail, but then again when it comes to fondue maybe the old ways are the best.  As the weeks came and went, birthdays and occasions missed we kept calling for reservations with little joy, until finally one Sunday the table for five we'd been longing for was ours.

When the time finally came it was the perfect day, freezing temperatures, a biting cold wind and the promise of light snow in the air, the perfect day for fondue.  Spying the Swiss flag above the door I waited for my dining companions as we entered what looked like a small rickety old house filled with relics that looked like something out of Roger Moore in For You Eyes Only, cow bells, cheese and 80s winter sports photos, this was already looking like it would be well worth the wait.  Then the smell of melting cheese hits, perhaps this is what heaven (or possibly hell) smells like.  We were taken up the stairs to our table, had our coats taken and were offered menus.  Here the kitsch continued and not feeling too brave we decided to go for 2 different kinds of cheese fondue between us, the Fondue Neuchsteloise: Dip fresh crusty bread into bubbling Gruyere & Emmental cheese and the Fondue Moitie-Moitie: Melted Gruyere and Vacherin cheese from Switzerland served with new potatoes and bread washed down with a nice chilled bottle of house white.

 As we sipped away at the wine the theatre of the fondue experience began to build.  First setting the table, then bringing the burners, lighting the burners, bringing the bread and then...  two steaming hot saucepans of molten cheese pleasure and some potatoes!  I have only one rule for good fondue, eat until I'm about to be sick.  St Moritz did not disappoint and many a dip of bread and potato later I was feeling that every little bit less in heaven and another bite closer to hell.  With a small puddle of cheese left in the pan and my dining companions having long since given up it was time to throw in the pick and extinguish the flame.  Fondue had one won only a double espresso could save me.

We will almost certainly be going back to St Moritz again, the food was excellent, the service friendly and professional and there were a number of non-cheese items on the menu that looked rather good.  I also wanted to try some of the desserts which we were too full to manage.  In all a perfect nights dining, I can't wait to do it again!


St Moritz: 161 Wardour Street, London W1F 8WJ
Telephone: 0207 734 3324

Festival Fun!

Dark Horse (Todd Solondz, 2011)
Where: London Film Festival: Vue West End
When: 16th October 2011

I was looking forward to this film, but at the same time a little sad that I could not also go and see the 3D samurai movie in the screening downstairs.  However, a dose of Todd has always worked wonders in the past.  Back then in my awkward, space filling teenage years a dose of Todd was a good excuse to see how quickly I could get my step mum to not watch the film I was seeing, a small rebellion of sorts and plenty of harmless fun.  So thank you Todd for those happy times with Welcome to the Dollhouse and Happiness, truly fun moments spent laughing at my family over and over again.  So what did Dark Horse have in store for me?

I knew I was on to a winner from the credits, the blingy lettering for the titles, the reality TV talent show music, this was going to be my kind of comedy.  The credits cut to a Jewish wedding complete with wall to wall drunken dancing until we reach our protagonists table.  Our man Abe (Jordan Gelber) tries to chat up the woman sitting next to him Miranda (Selma Blair) (who we later find out is not much better off than Abe!), he tells her he doesn't dance (I know the feeling...) and then jumps straight in and asks her out.  All that was missing was a small pop up Charlie Brooker doing his Hannah Montana impression, "Awkward", "Loser."  We then cut to the end of the wedding and we see Abe pursing Miranda once more at the cloakroom and manages to extract her phone number from her using a mix of pity and persistence.  We then see Abe drive away in his bright yellow Hummer, music blaring.

We learn more about Abe, maybe we wish we hadn't.  His father has a  real estate business and Abe works for him (well, work is a loose definition - it's more like sit at his desk and then storm off the second he's asked to do any work).  Abe's life is surrounded by his possessions, his car, his action figures and his posters and he has Mum and Dad with him wherever he goes.  At work and at home it is his actual father Jackie (played by the excellent as ever Christopher Walken).  At work his mother is played by the secretary, Marie (Donna Murphy)  who does Abe's work for him and is part of Abe's mixed up fantasy world.  At home he plays and takes great pleasure in beating his real mother, Phyllis (Mia Farrow) at backgammon.

Moving on to Abe's first date with Miranda, again arranged with his own force of will and her inability to say no he drives off in his Hummer, music blaring as usual to her house.  He arrives with a bunch  petrol station flowers in his hand only to find Miranda's mother answers the door and has no knowledge of him arriving.  Instead of cutting his losses and going home he sits in his car and waits, complete with awkward gesturing to Miranda's mother until Miranda shows up loaded up groceries with not the faintest idea that he was coming over.  Miranda is set up well in the film so far.  We are initially made to think of her as a normal and attractive woman that is going through a hard time in her life who lives with her parents till she gets back on her feet.  However, we soon get the impression that she is much like Abe in many ways, especially when she tells Abe that she plans to stop being a writer and slitting her wrists and he asks for her hand in marriage despite them hardly knowing each other.  If ever you're feeling a little off kilter with the rest of the world there's one easy question to ask yourself to see how bad it really is.  Would I exist as a character in a Todd Solondz film?  You just better hope the answer is not yes!

Once again time passes, it feels like it may have been months, in fact it is only a week and Miranda has agreed to meet with Abe at the family home.  As Miranda doesn't drive she comes over with her parents and the adults have an enthralling conversation about the traffic and road works whilst the "kids" are talking together in the room. Miranda agrees to marry Abe as long as he doesn't mind about the hepatitis B (which Abe later looks up on You Tube) and her ex Mahmood from Dubai.  Abe is pretty happy at this point.  His ego fuelled by lust and diet coke gets into a fight with his father that any teenager would be proud of.  Abe quits his job after being criticised for not doing his work on time, although he his soon back at work only to be fired by his father and replaced by his cousin who "does what he's told".  The result is that Abe storms out of the office and drives off in his Hummer, tears in his eyes and rage in his heart.

We hear a crash and a screech of tires but Todd has a twist for us which is what helps make this a great film and not just an amusing story/commentary of the modern condition.  The use of repetition, both visually and one lovely song that plays out help confuse our sense of time.  We are not sure whether it is years, days or months that are passing us by.  Additionally Abe likes to fantasise about an affair with the Mia the secretary and the life he imagines she leads.  At times like this it feels like we are Abe and a little out of the loop, except perhaps during his trip to Toys R Us, but that one I wont spoil for you!  We next find Abe in the hospital waking up after a few months in a coma.  He says he feels like dancing, we know he's lost his legs. Miranda arrives and says she's been cured of her hepatitis  and she's expecting a child.  It's pretty obvious it is not Abe's child to everyone but Abe.  Since being cured of her hepatitis Miranda has found a new lease of life, she is now dating Abe's successful brother Richard (Justin Bartha) who Abe detests and his cousin Justin (Zachery Booth) who has replaced him at work now has the affection of Marie.  The next time we see Abe he's looking a rather yellow, "The chances of losing both legs in a car crash and contracting hepatitis are about a billion to one," he says.

Cruelty doesn't pass with Abe's passing.  At his funeral he is humiliated when Richard tells his Father that the date of Abe's death is wrong.  To which he replies that the detail is not important after Abe continually tells us throughout the film he has a thing for dates and numbers.  As we draw to a close Abe returns to his house where he looks at the lines on the wall where he and Richard were measured growing up, peeling back the wallpaper he finds his Dad has written that he was the dark horse of the family and in death he realises that perhaps he was wrong about everything after all.  We finish with our secretary day dreaming of the life Abe says he expected her to, ghastly wallpaper, music, stuffed animals and musicals, rather than the sex, fine art and Ferrari's we saw during the rest of the film.

Sadly it looks like Dark Horse may not get much of a release outside of the festival circuit which is a great shame as it is funny, topical and very well directed.  It was funny like a top notch Coen Brothers comedy and also very accessable.  I really hope this gets picked up so more people can experiance what a great film I got to see last night.  Apparently we can go nag the distributors on twitter and "like" the film on Facebook.  I'm sure Abe would if he were still alive.

Sex and Death: What Could Possibly go Wrong?

Y tu mamá también (Alfonso Cuarón, 2001)

Watched: 22nd May

Where: TV

I first saw Y tu mamá también around seven or eight years ago, yet somehow my feelings towards it have remained unchanged. I still feel both sad and uplifted by the ending, the different journeys that life takes and how quickly they come to an end, the fragility of the relationships between the participants of life's journeys. There are a few journeys in Y tu mamá también, and many opposites sitting alongside. At the centre of the film you have rich vs poor, urban vs rural, young vs old and life vs death amongst others. The journeys that our characters take and the relationships they build help break down the barriers between the oppositions but also bring up new ones in their places.

The oppositions in the film begin with the opening sex scenes where young lovers make each other promise their fidelity as our young ladies are about to embark on a trip to Italy, leaving their men behind in Mexico. Like the many vows we see in the film this one proves to be empty. The boys Tenoch (Diego Luna) and Julio (Gael García Bernal) tell Luisa (Maribel Verdú) on their drive along the coast of their "brotherly vows not to be unfaithful and sleep with each other's women" but by the end of the film both admit (though somehow you feel like at least one of them is lying) to having slept with each other's girlfriends, and they both end up sleeping with Luisa too. Jano and Luisa are married, Jano (Juan Carlos Remolina) phones his wife whilst drunk admitting an affair, thus prompting her final journey with the boys and her sexual experiences with them.

The physical journey that our characters take from urban to rural (read also rich to poor) is also central to the relationships in the film, especially when contrasted with the social backgrounds of our characters. Tenoch is wealthy, was born wealthy and will probably die wealthy. Julio is very much middle class and not as wealthy as Tenoch continually reminds him (mostly in jest and also when they fight). Luisa had a tough upbringing in Spain looking after her sick grandmother while her husband is an author and academic who gets invited to a wedding where the president is a guest of honour. Although there are comments in the film about the class struggle it does not judge the characters themselves in terms of their class but we do see some of the consequences of the power the "haves" have over the "have nots". The change in politics the film mentions does not have disastrous consequences for Tenoch's wealthy father, but the building of a hotel whilst creating many jobs takes away the livelihood and family profession of Chuy who is no longer able to fish and take tourists on private boat tours. Progress comes at a price it seems, for some the price is easier to pay than others, but the innocence and simplicity of friendship and family are lost forever.

Another opposition that is set up is birth, this is in the form of a new set of sexual relationships, a new marriage, a trip to a secret beach, trying things for the first time, an escape from death, moving from school to University and the inevitable progression to adult life that follows. This is inevitably followed by death in the final scene of the film. Julio and Tenoch meet again and have coffee together. Both have now grown apart and have long since split up from their girlfriends following their road trip with Luisa. Tenoch tells Julio that Luisa died of cancer shortly after the end of their trip. Luisa wanted to spend the last moments of her life with no regrets, sharing her experiences and regaining a little of the youth she lost caring for her sick grandmother. For Luisa the trip was a chance to be reborn and feel freedom for one last time (or perhaps for the first time). For Tenoch and Julio it was the chance to be adults for the first time and children for the last time. The end of their friendship signified their coming of age. When we see them in the coffee shop they are dressed more smartly, more conservatively, they are not the same people we saw mocking the guests at the wedding party, their freedom and youth seem to have vanished. Their shared memories seem distant and blurry.

I love this film for the innocence of its characters, their fun adventure versus the sullen reality of the factual documentary style voice over narration. I like the childhood innocence and the fragility of young friendships. I understand how everything feels like it will last forever but tomorrow it is gone and the day after that but a distant memory. I feel that sometimes the big things don't matter but it's the little ones that count. Then I realise that these little things are big things after all; a passing remark, calling or not calling, participating or sitting out. Everything adds up, sex and death, the beginning and the end. What could possibly go wrong in between?

Could I Trouble You For A Foot Massage?

Death Proof (Quentin Tarantino, 2007)

Watched: 23rd November 2008
Where: On TV


Sometimes I wish I was 15 again, not often but sometimes. Watching Death Proof was one of those times. Actually pretty much every Tarantino film makes me wish I was 15 again, right from the first time I saw Pulp Fiction (Tarantino, 1994) and just as much so with Death Proof. Death Proof has all the ingredients needed for my 15 year old self: Sexy girls, fast cars and faster crashes, great conversation and the ability to bring out the trainspotter in me to be the first to have seen all the films Tarantino quotes. The other joy of being 15 again would be just to re-write the film for my blog. Yes, the joys of being 15 again, writing a review would have been fun, but life is not quite that simple if you want to try and understand what is happening, not just repeat what you see.

I find it so easy to become lost in the world created by a film, sometimes this makes bad films interesting and for me makes Bond films the greatest movies ever made. Thank goodness I've never started watching Star Trek... Death Proof and in particular all of Tarnatino's movies get me completely lost when I try and understand what world they live in. Tarantino's world is spun together with quotations from the history of trash cinema, the people that live in his world are usually amalgamations of the characters from these movies. However, sometimes we forget that the real world is all around them. Tarantino blurs this distinction when we have the things that make us think they are quotes from the distant past, or products from the real world but are in fact Tarantino's own concerns, like the Big Kahuna Burger and Red Apple Cigarettes, to name just two. When someone in Tarantino's world tries to enter the real world it is not a pretty sight, The Bride (Uma Thurman) trying to look after her daughter in the opening scenes of Kill Bill (Tarantino, 2003/2004) whilst ending up in a big fight.




Death Proof is a film spoofing/paying homage to the 1970s Grindhouse movies, which I can't say I have ever really watched. Though with a little help they can be explained:

"What is a grindhouse movie? Here's my best definition: it's a movie that makes
you want to run, not walk, to the nearest shower, but leaves you unable to
decide whether the shower should be hot or cold" - Tim Lucas - Sight and Sound - June 2007

Probably the best thing about Death Proof is how simple it all seemed after watching it. Just like that film for a 15 years old. However, the problem with Death Proof is that it cannot exist in isolation. It forms part of the Tarantinoverse which you could spends years researching, ticking off your trainspotter list of quotes, (self) references etc. As usual with Tarantino in doing this alone you are missing the point. The films work in their contrasts, conflicts and copies, not only their references and stories.

"Grindhouse audiences are seldom sated by blood and nudity alone; they also
want to see ageing actors crawling on their stomachs across the
broken-glass-strewn floors of scripts they would have snubbed in their
heyday"
Tim Lucas - Sight and Sound - June 2007

Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell) is a relic, just like those before him, think pretty much the whole cast in Pulp Fiction Vince Vega (John Travolta) and Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) are killed on contemplating a way out of their Tarrantinoverse, Butch Coolidge (Bruce Willis), the boxer is trying to settle down with his partner. Jackie Brown (Pam Grier) is trying to give up a life of drug smuggling. In Death Proof it is no different. In Warrens bar, the outsiders Dov and Omar mock Mike, "Dude fucking cut himself falling out of his time machine."

Stuntman Mike is trying to interfere in the world of women, the world as it is, outside the Tarantinoverse. Mike's only way to get a thrill and stay alive is to run them down in his death proof car, it keeps him in the world. Outside of the car Mike is the weak, vulnerable nobody than those outside the Tarantinoverse see him to be. The two parts of Death proof show this. The first part is within Mike's world, Warren's bar (where Tarantino pours the drinks and makes the rules) the girls, despite their initial attitude seem based in Mike's time, they need help, Pam (Rose McGowan) asks for a ride home and Warren sets her up with Stuntman Mike who eventually kills all the girls with his death proof car. Mike is left with minor injuries and gets away with the crime. Part one is the grindhouse. In part two, the girls are out there again: the lips, the legs, the feet. They seem so close to Mike, as if they are offering themselves to him.

Part two of Death Proof is in the real world, unfortunately for Mike the women hold the power. This is not Mike's world anymore. Where's Warren when you need him. When Mike enters his car he is death proof. In the second segment of the film, Zoe Bell, the stunt woman attacks Mike in his death proof car, she can ride the car strapped to its outside. The women can drive like men, the women can fight like me, they can do Mike's job better than him. Once Mike's out of the car he's a dead man, no longer death proof, no longer in control, stuck and startled in the real world. A creature of his time leaves death by the women his only option. Mike enters the real world in 2007 as a dead man. The reality of the situation is compounded by the fact that the stuntwoman Zoe Bell, who is playing herself in Death Proof, was Uma Thurman's stunt double in Kill Bill, reality has truly caught up with Mike, this time it's real. One day time catches up with you, you're not 15 anymore, not a movie star, this is the real world, get out of the movies!